I've never done this moving thing before. Off the top of my head I can think of at least half a dozen women I know who have made at least one big move - if not five. They've done it, they've made it. They have moved away, made new friends, built new lives, had new experiences. I know that if they have done it it's just a matter of time for me. And yet, it's foreign. Foreign. That's what I feel like I guess, a foreigner...
I now understand that word a little bit more. A new person in a new place with new ways of doing things, or old ways of doing things in new places.
There really is a lot of the same. The local grocery store sells sushi in the same packages as the store I bought sushi before. I found comfort in that, in the familiar way it looked. Sushi. It made me want to buy it even though that's not why I was at the store.
One of my kids pointed out that there is a Toys R Us here as well as Chinese restaurants - more of the same. But, that helped him to know that places he loves are here as well. Comfort in the recognizable.
Last night we went to an Awana program at a church we'd driven by. As we were driving there my husband asked me what was wrong. "I'm nervous." I replied. When he asked me why all I could say was, "This is all new." We walked in with our five kids and signed them up. We were on time, but we had to fill out paperwork which took some time. By the time all our kids were in the computer the other children had dispersed to their classes. My oldest daughter ran off to play with her group, my oldest son looked apprehensive, but my second son panicked. Putting my arm around him I reassured him that I'd stay with him as long as he needed.
By the end of the night they were all having a good time and wanted to come back. I had struck up a conversation with another mom telling her we'd just moved. As everyone was about to leave she came over and said, "I hope this isn't weird but can I give you my phone number?" I teared up and thanked her, "No! No it's not weird at all!"
I know it's all going to be ok. I know that we'll make it. I'm also recognizing the moments when it's hard. The moments when after talking to someone who's friendly I miss my old friends so very much. After seeing sushi in the store I just want to walk through the aisles that I have memorized. Hearing people talk to their parents on the phone arranging dinner feeling a pang of sadness.
I know that I just need to get through the hard and that there will be beauty on the other side. I know that God has his arm around me and is just assuring me that he'll be with me the whole way.