Thursday, April 16, 2015

Love Is...

Our love over the years has changed much for my husband and me. People ask the question, "Does it change? Do you lose those initial feelings you have when you meet someone?"

The best way to describe it is to say that your initial spark turns into a flame. The flame that you have for one another provides a warmth and comfort that is so much better than any initial spark. Our ideas and feelings about love have grown, evolved, and changed into something that has a lot more depth and value. As the years have passed, as we've struggled, as we've had kids, as we've made mistakes we have learned that love doesn't look like the modern concept perpetuated. Love is a deeper, more sacrificial, more full experience.

In thinking about how much I love my husband and how my love for him over the years has increased I gave pause and realized that love is many things. So here's a list of what love looks like.

Love is....

Packing their lunch.
Stopping to get the thing they need from the store.
Cleaning their hair out of the sink.
Dealing with their makeup all over the sink.
Rubbing their back until they fall asleep.
Praying their day goes well.
Encouraging them to spend time with friends.
Accepting their imperfections.
Not bringing up the thing they forgot.
Bringing them flowers.
Leaving them a note.
Giving them the comfy side of the bed to sleep on.
Not calling names.
Taking the kids out and leaving them at home alone.
Watching their favorite show with them (even if you don't like it).
Greeting them at the door with a smile.
Looking nice just for them.
Planning a date as a surprise.

Mowing the lawn for him.
Doing the dishes for her.

Saying "What can I do for you today?"
Taking care of them when they're not feeling well.
Being kind - especially when they're not.

Loving their family.
Sharing intimate moments.
Covering them with grace.
Speaking well of them.
Laughing with them.

All the small things.
... and the big things too...

The birth of your children.
Grieving losses together.
Growing old together.
Watching your children grow up.
In sickness.
In health.
Good times and bad.
Forgiving - even the hard stuff, especially the hard stuff.

Kissing at red lights.
Being spontaneous.
Making plans with them.
Going to the hot tub garden with them...

Remembering the little things they like.
Writing them a note just to let them know they're important.

Thinking on their wonderful qualities.
Being thankful for them.

Feel free to add to the list. What makes you feel loved? What things do you do out of love for your husband or wife? 


  1. i saw this - and thought of 1 Cor 13 - and how much love really is

  2. This is a great reminder of the godly spouse we are called to be.

  3. Great list! I feel loved when I get a back rub after a long day :-) I know my husband feels loved when I tell him things I appreciate about him.

  4. I love this! Love is seen in the everyday, seemingly mundane, but also in the unexpected, spontaneous moments. It's more than good feelings, but doing good to one another. You captured it so well and have made me to stop and consider love manifested in so many different ways in my day.

  5. This is such a wonderful list! I'm happy to say, my husband and I do many of these (even the kiss at the red light!) Just the other day, he got me flowers for no reason. If I'm lucky enough to get the kids to take a nap at the same time today, I may have to mow the lawn for him. :D

  6. Nailed it again. Love this melissande! You and your husband have a beautiful relationship and family full of real love!

  7. This is so beautifully done!!! My husband is away, and before he left times were tough for us. I really appreciate your breakdown of what love really is and love the analogy of the flame versus the spark!

  8. This a great list, and this is so, so true. It's doing all that you do out of love that fans the flames of passion and connection. I'm not saying that I always succeed at that, but it's so very, very important for a marriage.

  9. *sniff* I love reading posts like this! It helps me remember how good I truly have it (by sharing the items on your list), and how good my kids have it!!


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