Tuesday, November 25, 2014

My Biggest Fear

Losing my children. 

Everyone was going to be in Michigan. My mom is one of five kids and all of her siblings were going to be across the state visiting my Grandma. Not only that, but all of my cousins (with the exception of one) were too! Family reunion. So, we packed up and headed over to the Lake Michigan area. 

My youngest had been born just a few weeks earlier and she was having a horrible time. When she was awake she was crying... constantly. Each newborn is different and so I found myself trying desperately to navigate her fussiness and soothe her while also attempting to get some time with my distant family.

My Grandma lives in a beautiful older neighborhood with lovely homes, a shaded park, quiet neighbors, and established trees. Even in the heat of summer the yard stays fairly cool with all the shade.

We had just gotten there roughly an hour before and the weather was pleasant. I had gone inside to the back room (the den we call it) to feed the baby. A couple others were in the living room at the front of the house. Most of my cousins were outside playing a game consisting of throwing a ball around without letting it hit the ground - like volleyball, but without the net.

My two middle children - then 2 and 3 asked me if I'd take them outside. "Not right now guys, mama's nursing. Maybe in a little while." I said. My husband was busy fixing the front door and wasn't available to take the little ones out. At that point, my aunt who had been sitting with me said, "Aunt Tina will take you!" and she led my preschoolers outside.

I finished up feeding the baby a couple minutes later. I wrapped her up and headed towards the living room where a couple people were still sitting.

Suddenly we all heard a huge cracking sound. It sounded like a gun. People outside starting screaming and shouting. 

Immediately following the crack the house shook violently. I wildly looked outside and saw debris falling. 

"Oh my god. A branch fell." someone said.

And then I heard my husband yelling and crying. I screamed.

When I got to the door all I could see were people crying. And then I saw my babies. They were fine. Scared. But, ok.

The branch had almost hit them. Both of them. My Aunt had seen it coming, grabbed them both up in a football hold and dove out of the way. The branch had fallen at her feet, landing right where they had been standing. One of it's branches sunk 3 feet into the ground. Where the branch hit the house it had gone all the way through the roof and into the upstairs bathroom. It took 4 men to carry it to the back yard.

My brother had suddenly felt an urge to pray for our little family as he was driving out to visit with everyone. I do not doubt that those prayers insured that my aunt would be out there serving as their guardian.

It hasn't escaped me that I could have lost two children that day. 

As a parent our biggest fears usually center around the safety of our children. The heart wrenching fear that you experience in that moment when you can't see them on the playground, the anxiety you feel when you think of them in any kind of danger, well it's raw.

I fully realize that these children are God's and not mine. If He had wanted them to come home on that day He could have called them.

I'm thankful for every day I have with them. 

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone." James 4:14

Today is Transparent Tuesday! On Transparent Tuesday I either write a post from the heart, or I feature a post that has been linked up on Transparent Tuesday before!

I invite you to link up and join me in an effort to cast aside the filters.
Do you have a post where you've poured your heart out? Do you have a post where you have let down your guard and really bared your soul? 
To link up:
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Our Growing Roots


  1. Oh melissande this made me cry. How scary! I'm so glad everyone was ok. Losing my children is my biggest fear too. As you said, I'm aware they're God's children who he has entrusted to me, but still, the thought of losing them wrecks me. So thankful for angels and prayers in this life!

  2. Oh, wow! I think it will take me all day to recover! How scary! Your little ones sure were being protected!

  3. My heart stopped reading your post! That is terrifying. I am so glad your children were not harmed. I think every parent worries about their children's safety.

  4. Omg! That's so scary! I'm so very glad, the kids are ok!

  5. That is so scary! I'm always afraid my kids are going to get hit by a car.


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