Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Counseling {Transparent Tuesday}

We knew that our yard needed some work when we moved in. It wasn't out of control, but it didn't look like it had been maintained.

The biggest issue we have had are the weeds. The weeds in our yard went from bad, to worse, to awful over the last couple years. And not just any old type of weed, thistles. The pokey, painful type of weed that hurts to walk on and spreads like the plague.  

This year it's gotten to the point where the kids don't like to walk around the yard barefoot. I don't blame them.

I knew something needed to be done. So, we contacted a company to come out and take care of the weeds. It wasn't something that we were very excited about, but sometimes you need help... We just knew that alone we weren't going to be able to get the weeds under control.

 
It got me to thinking about several years ago. Issues in my life that I hadn't addressed had begun to spread - like weeds, taking over. I felt like everything I had planned, everything I had dreamed of was out of reach. I didn't know how to fix it. I found myself in a place of turmoil and self destruction that wasn't just affecting me, but had started to spread to the people around me. 

I needed help. I couldn't keep attempting to pull the weeds alone. It wasn't working anymore. 

I found a counselor. More specifically a Christian counselor. I went every week for almost a year. I had to face up to a lot of ugly in my life.

My counselor didn't take an easy soft path with me. He addressed all of my relationships. He encouraged me to be a better wife, a better mother, a better friend. He made me read books. He told me when I was wrong. He told me to pray. He told me to be honest. He gave me clear direction on what needed to be done and how to do it. He didn't coddle me or my problems. He pointed to the Bible in each session and quoted scripture in direct reference to each issue I was dealing with. He prayed with me at the end of every counseling session.

I wrote him a letter not too long ago to say thank you. Even thinking about it makes me cry all over again. Without the help, without the guidance my life could have gone a very different route.

Sometimes you can't do things alone. Sometimes things are too big.

I'm not ashamed of the fact that I went to counseling. I remember a friend saying one time that even though her parents had a very good marriage they went to marriage counseling on a regular basis. They viewed it as an "oil change" of sorts. Rather than only considering counseling as a last resort to a problem that had become dire (like mine had) they saw it as good and necessary maintenance.

Isn't it better to cure a problem while it's small, rather than to wait to until it is immense?


I'm starting to see the weeds die off in our yard. Slowly, one by one they're curling inward on themselves as they wither and perish. I look forward to seeing all of them disappear and a nice welcoming lawn reemerge.

Sometimes it isn't just the messy bedrooms or our yoga pants that we're trying to hide, but the real problems, the appalling way that we feel on the inside. We all have regrets, things that we're ashamed of, things that we don't want others to know about.

Unfortunately, sometimes trying to solve the problems we have alone isn't sufficient. Sometimes the weeds become too many.






Today is Transparent Tuesday!

I invite you to link up and join me in an effort to cast aside the filters we use to depict our lives as always being perfect. We all have a story to tell. The best stories are those where ordinary people rise up and work through the tough situations, the unseemly moments, the mundane, and the unglamorous.

All you have to do to link up is:

1. Either merely post a picture that depicts something in an honest way (just for example it could be a dirty room, or a selfie with you without your makeup on). Write a small caption to go along with your picture. OR, instead of a picture you can write a post that gives an authentic glimpse of your life.

2. Copy the url for your post (not your site) in the link below.

3. Finally, last but not least copy the code for the Transparent Tuesday graphic and attach it to your post so that other people can come and see all the other posts for Transparent Tuesday. The more the graphic is shared, the more people will be able to participate!


Thanks for linking up! The graphic and link up are below: 



Our Growing Roots


17 comments:

  1. Wow, Mel - I'm so proud of you and so immensely blessed to be part of your life and you be part of mine. I love you!!

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  2. This is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing that story with us.

    I love Transparent Tuesdays so far! Good stuff. :)

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    1. Thank you! I'm so glad that you linked up. I loved your post! Moving is an ordeal!

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  3. I love the idea of Transparent Tuesday and the metaphor of the weeds in our lives. It's a good reminder to take an honest inventory of our lives.

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    1. Thank you Shelah! I love how you put that. An honest inventory... :)

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  4. I went to counseling for a few years as a teenager and it helped me immensely. Thanks for sharing! And good luck on a pretty green lawn. :)

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    1. Jenny, thank you! I hope that the lawn turns out. I so miss walking barefoot.

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  5. I'm so happy you had a good experience with counseling! I myself have gone and I have my degrees in psychology :) I think the weeds are a fantastic metaphor...although now you're reminding me of the thousands of weeds I need to tackle in my yard ;)

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    1. Haha! Sorry! We're in the same boat then... :) It used to be my dream to be a psychologist. I am fascinated by it. Thank you for stopping by!

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  6. I loved reading this Mel! Great reflections from a great lady. Linking up my post from yesterday - just a little transparency about my process. Love you girl!

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    1. Thanks for Linking up, Lyd! Love your post!!

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  7. I think you are brave being open about your vulnerability. I think in doing so, you'll help lots of other people who feel the same way. That's a lovely, generous thing to do. x

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    1. Lisa, you just made my whole night. Thank you for extraordinary compliment. <3

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  8. This was such an honest post! You should be proud of the work you did to address your problems and become a better person :)

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  9. You always pick metaphors that are spot on! Happy you turned things around with yourself, and fingers crossed for those weeds as well!

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  10. Thank you for doing this link up again! I really appreciate what you shared and your desire to be open and give a testimony of how God has worked in your life.

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