My aunt didn't waste any time. Within a day or two she had connected with my biological father letting him know that I wanted to make contact with my sister. He phoned my sister, Kim. He let her know that she had an older sister whom she had never met and told her that I wanted to meet her. My aunt sent me a message:
"I just received a call from Kim. She has been quite shook up but is willing to have contact. I have given her your email. I wish you both well."
Not long after that I received an email from my sister for the first time. It was brief, basically stating that she looked forward to hearing from me and learning more.
I wrote and rewrote an email to her and finally just decided to give her the gist of what I knew and who I was. I told her where I'd been born, that I had little brothers, I told her that I was married with a son, and I sent her some pictures.
She responded very honestly. She told me that initially upon finding out about me she was angry not just at her dad, but me. She thought that I might have some sort of hidden agenda. (I don't blame her for feeling uneasy). However, after reading the email I had sent her she said she was excited. She said, "I have always wanted a sister."
We began emailing every day trying to find out as much about each other as we possibly could. We wrote about everything we could think of from childhood memories, to what kinds of music we liked (we were surprised to discover we both loved celtic music). We found out we were both stay at home moms. Both of us described ourselves as shy, but social. We both enjoyed reality television - ha!
There were also some differences. First of all height. I figured since I was tall and I got my height from my biological father she would also be around 6'0" - but she told me she was 5'3". Despite our shared love of celtic music, she was partial to a lot of Broadway music and I admitted my preference to rap. She had four kids, two boys, two girls and I only had one at the time.
After several emails we came up with the idea of sending survey questions to one another so as to get to know each other better. The titles of the surveys looked something like this:
1. HAVE U DONE THESE THINGZ?
2. Your FAVES
3. Put a STaR next to EvEryThInG yOu HavE dOnE!!!
It was super cheesy, but one of the most hilarious things we could have done. The surveys asked a plethora of ridiculous questions, but in the midst of all the ridiculous questions there were thought-provoking questions sprinkled as well. We found out we were both married in August of 2002, merely 6 days apart.
For a while we just emailed. However, after copious amounts of emails had been exchanged we traded phone numbers. Our first phone conversation went really well. We talked for over an hour and discussed how much we would like to meet up face to face.
Later on she told me that I sounded like a valley girl, which I accepted to be true. I told her she sounded like a Yooper - (if you're unsure what a yooper sounds like, think Minnesotan-ish). We both laughed... really hard.
This must be what having a sister was all about.
It was December and we were both anxious to finally meet each other. My husband and I planned a trip to the other side of the state where Kim and I planned to meet up for coffee.
It felt like a first date. I had specially selected an outfit, planned my hair, and applied my makeup meticulously. I woke up more nervous than I expected with butterflies in my stomach. Would she actually like me in person? After a lifetime of wondering about this person, and a couple months of contact I was 100% invested in this relationship. I wanted nothing more than to burst through the door and hug her and tell her how much I loved her.