I've heard it said that one of the lies that people most often believe is phrased in one of two ways. Either, "You're the only one who (fill in the blank)." or, "Everyone else (fill in the blank)."
You're the only one who ever arrives late.
Everyone else dresses well.
You're the only one who still hasn't finished school.
Everyone else is married.
You're the only one who can't hold a job.
Everyone else is happy...
Lies that make you withdraw from others. Lies that separate you from those that you love. Lies that cut down relationships and cause people to lash out.
I know for some the lies they believe about themselves can cause insecurity and a lot of self doubt. For others, the lies hang over their heads like a noose threatening to squeeze the life right out of them.
You're the only one who feels uncomfortable.
Everyone else can afford this.
You're the only one who struggles with their faith.
Everyone else's kids behave.
You're the only one who can't lose weight.
Everyone else is organized.
You're the only one who has a messy house.
Everyone else is able to finish projects.
You're the only one who can't handle this.
Everyone struggles. Isn't that part of being human? To be human is to struggle. Our lives aren't cookie cutter perfect. We can mimic other people and try to make our lives look like theirs, but they never will. We may have all been created equal, but we're all unique.
Everyone else has a good marriage.
You're the only one who's tempted to watch pornography.
Everyone else is capable.
You're the only one who can't get their taxes done.
Everyone else has a nice yard.
You're the only one who gambles.
Everyone else is truthful.
You're the only one who gets angry.
When these feelings of inadequacy worm their way into your thought process and start to take hold and live in your consciousness it's like a disease. All it will do if it continues to be fed is to germinate and take root in your mind. It will eventually cause you to feel abandoned and isolated.
Isn't that the opposite of what God does? He doesn't hold our sins against us. He doesn't push us to the side because we're late sometimes, we struggle in our relationships, we don't clean as often as we should, or because today we're wearing a baggy tee shirt and some yoga pants. He doesn't discount us because we gossiped, or we ate one too many cookies, or we cut someone off in traffic yesterday. He doesn't give up on us when we yell at our kids, we leave the dinner in the oven too long and burn it, we get frustrated with the insurance company, or we can't finish that book we've started five times now. He doesn't even give us the push off when we steal, we cheat, we lie, or we murder.
God always loves, He always forgives, He always comforts.
God can use anything for good. The things that we see as being bad, awful, even ugly in our lives might be that, but we can turn them around and instead of burying them we can do something else. What if you were to come to the realization that many of these things that you struggle with are things that others also struggle with, and perhaps hearing about your experience could help others?
I don't know about you, but when I look for a role model I look to the people who I see as being strong. People who have gone through hard times and come out on the other side more humble, loving, and understanding. People who don't judge, because they know. People who get where you are, and want to come alongside of you and help you up over that berm that is separating you from where you are now, and where you want to be.
My friend posted a quote today that hit home: “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
God created us all to be beautiful. He designed each of us specially with our own talents and abilities. He didn't put you in a mold and take you out with a dozen others just like you, rather he designed a template just perfectly you, with your likes and dislikes, opinions, eye color, and personality. He loves you just the way you are, flaws and all. Those trials you're undergoing that pull you down and cause you to feel dispirited and beaten are but small things to Him. We all are fighting our own battles. Don't believe the lies that come to steal your joy. You can navigate past them.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4