This week has been one of those weeks where I have been in between joy and headaches.
I need to be spending more time in God's word. Learning, growing, mediating on His promises and everlasting truths. It is food for my soul and fuel for my life.
I need to spend more time talking to God and less time hashing things out with/to other people. It's evident. Venting can be such a temptation. It looks so nice and comfortable (which it isn't always). It's warm and it is inviting. You think you're going to get exactly what you need when you spill about your day and how awful it was, how hard you worked, and how nobody appreciates or understands you.
Oh how we're deceived. Sometimes, yes sometimes after a good and hefty vent session I do feel as if a weight has been lifted. More often however, I feel an overwhelming sense of renewed anxiety. Not worth it. It raises my blood pressure, it makes me cry, it causes me to sin and speak ill of the people I love. It's a gross trap that I wander into time and again.
I have been so incredibly blessed. I have been given so much that I treasure. My life is not picture perfect. Is anyone's? My life is not always easy. I don't believe most people always have it easy... My life is mine though. It is nobody else's. It is precious and lovely and full of love. For that I am so thankful. For as much as I tend to covet what others have there is not one person I can think of that I want to trade lives with. I love my life, my husband, my children, and everything else that God has granted me. It's a nice reality to settle into.