I am stealing a few quick moments to write this first entry.
Today has been one of those days where I have bent down on my knees and asked for strength. I have been attempting to clean while still being a mom. Is that even possible? Two little boys - one who loves to play games, read books, play outside, cut paper. The other who is attached to my hip like gorilla glue, nursing, smiling, crying. Both sweet, both attention oriented, both in completely different stages.
I'll admit that sometimes I fail to see the sweetness of it all. I can become so immersed in my own wants/needs that I don't seem to raise my eyes and notice all the good, beautiful little moments.
We have been living with my husband's parents for almost 2 months now. It's sometimes hard, but a humongous blessing. As I write my oldest is enjoying a popsicle with his Nana after gathering corn stalks in her garden. I am so glad that he is getting to spend these special moments with her learning to enjoy some of the things that she loves. I find myself wishing I was the one out there gathering corn stalks with him, and then I have to stop and remember that I have a 6 month old, I'm pregnant and that this is a special moment that he can spend with his Nana and that we won't be living here forever.
It is nice to step back and look at things with rose colored glasses sometimes. I see nothing wrong with trying to put a positive spin on things. I'm not the best at it, I'm not even really very good at it sometimes - but when I do find myself attempting to look at things lightly it helps beyond measure.
Today I'm going to stop feeling guilty. I'm going to pray. I'm going to realize that I'm not able to do everything at once and it's ok if things spill, someone cries over something silly, or I take my shower at 4 pm. Having children is amazing and wonderful, it is also hard. It's ok to let some things slide.
I already feel so much better.